Your Own Inner Child is Raising Your Kids, Sleeping with Your Husband and Embarrassing YOU at Work!

Here's a shocker, I couldn't parent my own kids, until I had parented myself out of my own immature behaviours.                                                                                

All parents make mistakes, but 40 years ago, there were few parenting resources available.   Even then, I recognized I needed to do something drastic to get better parenting results.   

Parenting myself?   It's not like I was orphaned and left alone to raise myself in the jungle of human emotions.  When you have kids, you need to become secure and grounded people raising kids who will grow up secure and grounded OR you will be living in a parenting chaos.  At 23 years old, I looked down into that pit and saw my future if something didn't change fast. A future in Parenting Hell scared me more than having to fix my own glitches.  Translation:  Re-parent yourself to be the best person to raise not only your own kids but fix yourself first.  How?

My parents were great, They prepared me to be a kind, considerate, thinking adult just like them, however I was still at the mercy of my own inner child's immaturity.

 Sit Back, and Enjoy the Inner Child ride with this Rap Video

Parent the Parent Home-Study:
How to Parent Yourself:

• Pay attention to behaviours that keep you stuck, confused or blast you out of control
• Notice how you accept or resist the responsibility of raising kids
• Notice who you are blaming for your kid's bad behaviour
• Ask yourself what you like/love or dislike about your kids regardless of their ages 
• Ask what you like/love or dislike about yourself as their parent
• Decide to change one behaviour each week until you have conquered your parenting demons.

 It's what you do next that proves you are responsible and proactive.  

My Best Parenting Teachers:  My Kids!  It was my kids who took me by the hand and led me through my mistakes and my victories so I could figure out how to get control?  Conscious parenting occurred organically as I parented my own kids, they showed me what I was doing right and what was terribly wrong.  

Inner Child Recovery:  For me, IC Recovery  began the day I noticed how often my own nasty,  jealous, trouble making inner child  messed up my parenting.  The louder my two year old daughter screamed in frustration, the louder I screamed at her in my own frustration.  This immaturity had to stop!  I had even begun nightmaring about future teenage rebellion and it really wasn't pretty.  To make it worse these inappropriate behaviours shook my marriage, and even labelled me as immature to  my boss and colleagues. 

• Tip #1   Pay attention to what triggers an Inner Child tantrum.
• Tip #2   Accept that you are your child's guide and mentor NOT their jailer or disciplinarian
• Tip #3   Recognize the flavour of each period in your kid's life - example:  teens years -  intellectual volleyball

I had to identify my behaviour triggers before my kids and their friends trusted me to share their stories.  I became the teen guide and mentor instead of their jailer, trainer or disciplinarian.  I actually enjoyed their teen years.   We played intellectual volleyball. Retaining your own Inner Child takes time and concentration, but I learned how to transform the old patterns I had grown up with.  This is something I love to teach to parents today.

The Inner Child Phenomenon:  My parents were great... creative, loving, compassionate... I still think they were pretty perfect.  In reality, they weren't perfect and neither am.  I learned my behaviours both good and bad from my parents just as they learned from theirs.  My family isn't unique. Kids copy behaviours and triggers from parents.  The key word here is TRIGGER.  Science has proven that not all genetic family patterns are genetic.  Anger management is copied, so is abuse, some addictions, business success and loving/protective family environments.  Therefore getting grounded and secure so you can be the best person to raise your kids means knowing your triggers, how to turn them on and how to turn them off.

The Nasty Place:  "Inner Child" Behaviours. Yup,  Inner Child is stuck to Inner Critic and both make a pretty invincible duo when it comes to taking the adult out of parenting behaviour.   Your deepest insecurity is heightened by judgement felt emotionally and physically when your Inner Critic bashes your Inner Child for the feelings you don't always know how to control.  Here's a well known scenario;  your two year old is tantruming for the third time this morning.  You have tried all the approved methods of control and now you are contemplating a few of the unapproved methods when your sweet angel pushes you over the edge into oblivion and you start screaming at her to do what she is told.     I'll bet you know the feeling. You know that once you've lost control, and your kids are out of control, everyone needs a timeout.  It doesn't matter whether you lose it at the beginning of the day or at the end, the result is the same...  as the parent you feel like a total mess. But this is fixable.

This blog and Parent the Parent is the right place for you if it feels like your kids are running the show and you don't know how to get control back.  Whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a time-crunched working parent who is moving at the speed of light just to keep up, you may feel like you don't have time to be the best parent and are just glad to get through another day. Visiting this blog will be the break you need where you will find humour, permission to be your best, and real tools to help you along the way.   

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Enjoy InJOY

Sue Rumack, Parent the Parent Expert, Author:  
       The Pulse of Awakening, How to Connect With Soul and Life Purpose
       The Top 10 Tools Every Successful Parent Needs (release Christmas 2014) 

Blog:  http://parentingsuccesstips.blogspot.ca/

Website:   https://www.pulseofawakening.com/parent-the-parent.html

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NEED HELP? Contact  Sue Rumack, Parent the Parent Mentor via Parent the Parent Mentoring Groups Support  or email portalcoach@live.ca  subject line Parent the Parent Support.